GETTING REAL
For most people that know me, you know a Melissa who has a smile on her face 24/7. You know me to be happy, optimistic, and positive all of the time. Of course, I do my best to be that way even when life throws me lemons. My intention is always to take those lemons and make lemonade. Very few people ever know when I'm having a hard day because I choose to keep that to myself and radiate positivity at all costs. Friday, was a day that I got real with myself. I guess what I was reminded is that, yes it is important to be positive and optimistic, and it is also important to allow yourself to deal with life's challenges. It is okay to be human, to allow yourself to feel a variety of emotions -- sorrow, frustration, loss, anger, etc. It is okay to feel these emotions as part of the healing process, observe these feelings briefly and then move onward and upward. A lot has happened over the past 2 months aside from just breaking my foot after an exhilirating triathlon season with the grande finale of the World Championships in Hawaii. Within a couple weeks of my accident, while attending a business seminar I was blessed with the clarity and inspiration of my life's mission and I formulated this into an incredible business concept--to say I am excited is a major understatement and at the same time very overwhelmed by the grandness of this venture. At about the same time, I lost the relationship that I thought was the one I'd have for the rest of my life. So broken foot, broken heart, broken dream and I didn't skip a beat. No tears, no complaining, no anger, no sorrow--just smiles, gratitude, optimism, and jumping into my big business projects. I kept telling myself, " Melissa, you are unstoppable. you can do anything, you can do everything and you can do it all now. It's time to conquer the world." After 2 months of being in overdrive, I finally broke down. One more night of no sleep and my body hurting all over was the final straw. And when I had cried to the point no more tears would come out--I began to feel better. As I cried in the shower, I realized that it was really good for me to cry and get it all out--just like a detox cleanse gets all of the toxins and wastes out of the body, crying is just a natural form of detox. A whole lot of emotions came to the surface which I didn't even realize where there. It actually felt good to allow myself to FEEL-- to be really sad and frustrated about breaking my foot, and to feel the sorrow, loss, hurt from the recent break-up, and to feel the fears and insecurities of the future. A few hours later the tears were back and I was crying at the drop of a hat the whole rest of the day.

I am happy to say that I am in the process of re-evaluating my priorities, resetting my goals, and getting clear on what I REALLY want. I am doing my best to be good to Melissa, doing my best to be my own best friend, to let myself feel and heal, and finally, I am doing my best to let go of the "super woman" mentality -- after all super woman was fictional. Thank you to my amazing friends and family -- you show me each day how much you love me and support me in all I do. I am sorry to those who I have hurt by shutting you out and not being willing and open to communicate and share my feelings when you've been there so willing to listen, to encourage, to love me threw life's little challenges. I also must apologize for keeping a certain individual at arms length, so to speak, from my own fears of hurting you or getting hurt -- you should know who you are -- And thank you for keeping me smiling and laughing! It's those little things that mean everything!

Reminiscing The Torch Relay
On a regular basis I go to www.olympic.org to see what is going on with the Olympic games. I did this just the other day and read that the Olympic Torch Relay for the Winter Games in Torino, Italy began about 10 days ago. I was taken back to the Salt Lake games where I had the treasured opportunity to carry the Olympic Torch in the Torch Relay. I am forever grateful for that experience and thank everyone who nominated me as a Torch Bearer and for my family for being there every step of the way. I still laugh when I think back to crashing the parade routes in the suburban--the Miss America wave, and the parents and kids lining up to get pictures w/ me and to get my autograph. I never expected that autograph signing would be a part of carrying the torch. Being in Whistler last week, where the Winter Olympics will be in 2010 also illicited a lot of memories of the Salt Lake Games and I couldn't help wondering what role I will get to play in the 2010 Games. If nothing else I'll be there in the crowd, cheering on some of the worlds' best athletes.