IN THE ZONE...
This morning I celebrated a "WIN" for myself. I went to SPIN class for the first time since the accident. I clipped in with both feet this time and it felt awesome. I immediately moved into my zone--I found myself out on the road on my bike, flying down the Natchez Trace where the only things present were the Spirit of God, the beauty of nature, and Me. And then the music changed and I was climbing the Moore's Lane cut-threw, pushing it, cranking it to the top, the cold air burning in my lungs, and then the exhileration of coasting down the other side at race car speed, cold wind rushing over my face. And then the music changed and I was on the coastal road in Hawaii, ocean to my left, white caps on the water, seagulls soaring over head, the warm sunshine penetrating my skin. And the music changed and then I found myself leading the pack in a road race, flying on a straight away heading to the finish-line, with every pedal stroke I was more driven, more inspired, more determined--laser beam focused on that finish-line, I didn't even notice the crowd lining the road screaming, cheering, waving flags. The only thing I could see -- VICTORY!

STRONGER THAN EVER.....
I'm starting to get really excited about my 2006 racing season. I know I'm coming back stronger than ever. I know I will qualify for Nationals in Kansas City, MO. I have every intention to qualify for World Championships in Lausanne, Switzerland. I have big goals for the coming year and an even bigger desire to make them all happen. I am back on track w/ my nutrition tracking sheets and my training log book. This next week I'm going to research the races I will put on my race calendar and please know that you, as my family, friends, cheering squad, you are invited to join me at these events. I'd love nothing more than to have you there to celebrate with me at every victory party. Your love, support, and energy means more to me than you know. I'll post my race calendar here shortly. Some of you have already made the decision to participate in a few of these races with me--I can hardly wait and please let me know how I can assist you in your training and reaching your goals. For any of you who are considering doing your first triathlon this year, I must warn you triathlons are highly addictive.

Good Tidings of Great Joy....

Today was a day of fantastic news. First of all, I had a great swim practice. I learned a new drill today -- fist drill, feels a little akward at first. I also did one set of drills without my pull bouy--I actually kicked. It felt a bit strange to kick, it has been so long. I also added flip turns today--I am still only pushing off with my non-broken foot. I met with Dr. Stark and boy did he have good news for me. The x-rays today showed that the fracture is completely healed. Hallelujah! Hallelujah! He was very impressed at how rapidly it has healed. I have been walking without crutches now for a little over a week. As of today, I can begin weaning myself off of the walking cast (i.e. boot). When I am around the house I can take the boot off and walk as long as I have a shoe on. I am suppose to do stretches for my achilles 5 time per day and have daily foot massages to break up scar tissue--sure wish my favorite foot massage specialist didn't live so far away. I can start riding my bike more and I actually get to wear my cycling shoe on my left foot. It will be a while before I'm ready to go out on the road on my bike--I'll take what I can get and cycling indoors is better than no cycling. I can also add in some more weight bearing leg exercises in my strength training routine. I am excited about all I can do and dreaming of running like the wind in the near future. Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

GETTING REAL
For most people that know me, you know a Melissa who has a smile on her face 24/7. You know me to be happy, optimistic, and positive all of the time. Of course, I do my best to be that way even when life throws me lemons. My intention is always to take those lemons and make lemonade. Very few people ever know when I'm having a hard day because I choose to keep that to myself and radiate positivity at all costs. Friday, was a day that I got real with myself. I guess what I was reminded is that, yes it is important to be positive and optimistic, and it is also important to allow yourself to deal with life's challenges. It is okay to be human, to allow yourself to feel a variety of emotions -- sorrow, frustration, loss, anger, etc. It is okay to feel these emotions as part of the healing process, observe these feelings briefly and then move onward and upward. A lot has happened over the past 2 months aside from just breaking my foot after an exhilirating triathlon season with the grande finale of the World Championships in Hawaii. Within a couple weeks of my accident, while attending a business seminar I was blessed with the clarity and inspiration of my life's mission and I formulated this into an incredible business concept--to say I am excited is a major understatement and at the same time very overwhelmed by the grandness of this venture. At about the same time, I lost the relationship that I thought was the one I'd have for the rest of my life. So broken foot, broken heart, broken dream and I didn't skip a beat. No tears, no complaining, no anger, no sorrow--just smiles, gratitude, optimism, and jumping into my big business projects. I kept telling myself, " Melissa, you are unstoppable. you can do anything, you can do everything and you can do it all now. It's time to conquer the world." After 2 months of being in overdrive, I finally broke down. One more night of no sleep and my body hurting all over was the final straw. And when I had cried to the point no more tears would come out--I began to feel better. As I cried in the shower, I realized that it was really good for me to cry and get it all out--just like a detox cleanse gets all of the toxins and wastes out of the body, crying is just a natural form of detox. A whole lot of emotions came to the surface which I didn't even realize where there. It actually felt good to allow myself to FEEL-- to be really sad and frustrated about breaking my foot, and to feel the sorrow, loss, hurt from the recent break-up, and to feel the fears and insecurities of the future. A few hours later the tears were back and I was crying at the drop of a hat the whole rest of the day.

I am happy to say that I am in the process of re-evaluating my priorities, resetting my goals, and getting clear on what I REALLY want. I am doing my best to be good to Melissa, doing my best to be my own best friend, to let myself feel and heal, and finally, I am doing my best to let go of the "super woman" mentality -- after all super woman was fictional. Thank you to my amazing friends and family -- you show me each day how much you love me and support me in all I do. I am sorry to those who I have hurt by shutting you out and not being willing and open to communicate and share my feelings when you've been there so willing to listen, to encourage, to love me threw life's little challenges. I also must apologize for keeping a certain individual at arms length, so to speak, from my own fears of hurting you or getting hurt -- you should know who you are -- And thank you for keeping me smiling and laughing! It's those little things that mean everything!

Reminiscing The Torch Relay
On a regular basis I go to www.olympic.org to see what is going on with the Olympic games. I did this just the other day and read that the Olympic Torch Relay for the Winter Games in Torino, Italy began about 10 days ago. I was taken back to the Salt Lake games where I had the treasured opportunity to carry the Olympic Torch in the Torch Relay. I am forever grateful for that experience and thank everyone who nominated me as a Torch Bearer and for my family for being there every step of the way. I still laugh when I think back to crashing the parade routes in the suburban--the Miss America wave, and the parents and kids lining up to get pictures w/ me and to get my autograph. I never expected that autograph signing would be a part of carrying the torch. Being in Whistler last week, where the Winter Olympics will be in 2010 also illicited a lot of memories of the Salt Lake Games and I couldn't help wondering what role I will get to play in the 2010 Games. If nothing else I'll be there in the crowd, cheering on some of the worlds' best athletes.

Accentuate The Positive....

I'm finally off of the crutches. Dr. Stark told me a few weeks ago that I could start to wean myself off of the crutches and I chose not to because I was feeling wimpy and just wanted to baby my foot. Well, after 9 days in Canada, 5 of which I was in the incredible winter paradise of Whistler, I decided to be done with crutches. Don't get me wrong being on crutches does have some benefits--Some more obvious than others. For example, you typically get special treatment at hotels, restaraunts, on airlines, and such. For the most part people are very helpful and go out of their way to assist you. I almost always have some gentleman who gets the door for me and pulls out my chair. I've had someone bring me most of my meals for the last 8 weeks. Someone does my laundry, packs my luggage, carries my belongings around when we're out and about, etc. I have even had people give me massages as a gifts. In fact I had 3 massages given to me for free last week alone. In fact, I was standing on the curb with my Mom on Granville Island in Vancouver waiting for a taxi when a gentleman named Forest stopped us, had me sit down and proceeded to perform his natural healing techniques on me. He played music on my foot with his giant peace pipe and then he massage my hands and ears -- I learned this secret spot to massage on the ear that will melt anyone in a matter of minutes. Finally, last week I had a strong, sexy fire fighter throw me over his shoulder and carry me down 6 flights of stairs, across a court yard from one hotel to another and up another flight so that I would not slip on the ice with my crutches. So crutches really aren't all bad. Everywhere I go and in most everything I do I receive exceptional service. I feel so blessed. Having said all that, I am so happy to be progressing to full recovery eventhough I am feeling more pain and discomfort now that I'm walking with my walking cast. My poor little atrophied muscles are not very happy right now. Nothing a little TLC won't cure. Off to get another massage here in a few hours.

Crazy? Maybe. Dreamer? Definitely!

So I had a thought. Some people will probably say it sounds crazy and I really hope they do because that will be evidence I'm probably on the right track. I figure the more people that think I'm crazy the better. I've never wanted to be just like everyone else. I'm quite happy being unique and not being a complacent member of the 97% club. Okay, so here was my thought. Of course, you all know I'll be competeting in the Olypmic triathlon at the Summer Games. I am strontly considering buying a home in Colorado to be near the Olypmic training center (for all of my friends in Nashville don't be alarmed, I'm buying a home there too) and because even though I LOVE Nashville, being in Whistler reminded me that I miss the pine trees, the Rocky Mountains, and even the snow. With a home in Colorado I'll have the opportunity to cross country ski as part of my winter cross-training. I am sure with a little time and practice I could start competing in cross-country skiing and who knows perhaps compete in the 2010 Winter Games. How cool to be an athlete in both the Summer and Winter Olympics!

Simple Pleasures

Oh, I almost forgot--I also started back on the bike this past week. As some of you know I certified as a Spinning instructor several years ago and used to teach Spinning at the health club. I love Spinning almost as much as I love to be out on my bike on the road. At the fitness center at the Four Seasons in Whistler there were Spinning cycles in the aerobics/yoga studio. I could only look at those bikes for so long before my resistance wore down and I just had to get on and ride (even though Dr. Stark said to wait til just before Christmas). It actually felt awesome to be back on the bike, that is until I hit about 35 minutes and then my rear-end reminded me that it hasn't been on a bike saddle since the World Championships in Hawaii back in early October. I can deal with the discomfort as long as I can be back training like my heart desires. I can tell you now that the day I am able to run again will probably rank up there as being one of the happiest days of my life. I'm a simple girl and simple things make me happy.

Thanks, but NO Thanks!

"You've got to be kidding me...that did not just happen," I say laughing. Okay, here's the story and I promise this is a completely true story. I was sitting in the lobby of the OpryLand Hotel in Nashville. It had been a long night, walking around that massive hotel looking at the Christmas lights and holiday decor, as well as walking through the ICE exhibit (very cool!). Ordinarily, all of the walking would not have phased me; on crutches is a different story. I was resting while Matt went to get the car, so that I would not have to walk another inch on those blasted sticks. I had sunk into a fluffy chair and was people watching. Some interesting folks were occupying the other chairs in the living room style sitting area. They appeared to be related somehow and were only borderline obnoxious (and that could have been just because I was so exhausted). The mother of this crew, was an older lady I'd say in her 50s, and I could tell from my observations that she was a, let's say INTERESTING lady. And within minutes that was confirmed. Matt walked through the revolving doors to help me out to the car and as I stood up and carefully placed my bandana covered crutches at my side to take my first step toward the door, this lady leaned forward nearly coming out of her chair shaking her finger in front of her face as if to scold me. I was a bit taken back. Why in the world is this strange lady shaking her finger at me? Then she spoke in an almost whisper so I had to kind of lean forward to hear her..."SANITARY NAPKINS..." [In my mind, I'm thinking santiary napkins, what is this lady saying to me?] Again she says, " put sanitary napkins, under those bandanas..." [what is she saying? Sanitary napkins? what is a sanitary napkin? and why in the name of all that is good and holy would I put it on my crutches?] "trust me, it'll save your arms pits...been there, done that honey...sanitary napkins." [I am looking at her in complete bewilderment. I honestly cannot understand what she is talking about, so before I blurt out...lady who are you and what planet did you come from. I kindly said, nodding my head as if I understood her..."Thank you, maam. I'll keep that in mind." Then I took a huge step forward toward Matt, still completely bewildered and I know my face reflected it. Matt asked me, "what was that all about?" And at that moment it registered -- I finally understood what a sanitary napkin is. "Oh, I don't think you want to know," I said. Matt's reply, "Well, you sure handled it gracefully, I don't think I would have done so well with a strange lady shaking her finger in my face." Those few yards to the car, I was laughing and saying you've got to be kidding me, that didn't just happen. After we got in the car, I told him the whole thing. We both got a good laugh then. Maybe that strategy works in the backhills of Tennessee, but No thanks, maam. Thanks for being so thoughtful though.

Ahead of Schedule!

I met with Dr. Stark this week and he said according to the x-rays my foot is healing 3-weeks ahead of schedule. I have 3 more weeks in my lovely soft-cast (i.e. walking cast) and I am suppose to be weaning myself off of the crutches. I having been putting standing weight on my foot and I am putting a little more weight on it as I walk with the crutches. He said I'll be walking on my own before the end of the year. Something to look forward to! I asked about removing the screw as many of you have inquired about that. He said that we'll just play it by ear and we really won't know for probably six months or more. If it hurts for me to run with it, then they'll take it out and that'll put me back in a cast for 3 weeks. If it doen't bother me then it will become a new part of my anatomy. In 3 weeks I should also be able to get back on my bike (in the house on the stationary trainer or in Spin class). Hooray!

Keep Swimming...Keep Swimming

I just keep swimming and just as I said I would I am a far better swimmer than before the accident. I am still swimming without using my legs to kick. Today I amazed myself as I did fast 100s. I was consistently at 1:45 and that is without using my legs and without being able to do flip turns. Coach Buzz--I knew I had it in me and this is just the beginning, just wait til I come back from swim camp. Thanks for the coaching and for believing in me during those frustrating months this past summer.

Snow Angels, Anyone?

I'm off to Whistler, B.C. tomorrow. I had not planned to go to this winter wonderland with a broken foot, so anyone up for making snow angels with me? I plan to have a fantastic trip. I know my business conference will be phenomenal and with 37 inches of fresh snow I'm sure I'll have the opportunity to build my first snowman (should I admit I've never built a snowman at age 28?). I'll keep y'all posted on the adventures.